Friday, January 22, 2016


Hey Buddy, it has been almost 3 years since I wrote you a letter on this blog. Last night I went back through and read all of the posts I had written to you from 2011 to 2013 and I sat there wishing I would have documented more of your life, our life, I wished that I hadn't stopped writing you, but things got busy and all of a sudden writing you letters and posting on my other blogs was no longer my biggest concern and I hate that. I hate that I took such a long break from writing to you. Because by doing that there are some things that will forever only be distant memories. Memories I will always remember but wont remember completely in full. And therefore wont be able to fully explain to you how things were.
I have started to realize that back then I wasn't really writing you in every post. A lot of my posts were for others to read and not for you to read when you are grown up. Why I did that I'm not sure. Maybe O thought people wouldn't read my posts if all of my letters/posts were like this one, and that was a big deal for me at ages 13-15. I wanted people to follow my blog and read and see how cute you are how much I love you. But I have begun to realize that doesn't matter. I need to write to you and not to others. This blog is and always has been dedicated to you and our life together as brother and sister.
Vahnya bubby I love you more than I could ever put into words, I'm not sure I will ever be able to love someone else as much as I love you. You are my entire world, and have been for almost six whole years. This March it will be SIX years since we started your adoption six years since I saw your sweet face for the first time six years since I found out you are able to love and deeply miss someone you have never met. And it will be five years since I held your tiny little body in my arms for the first time. Five whole years bubby. FIVE. Those five years have been the best and most rewarding five years of my entire life.
I watched you grow up from a little three year old who just learned how to walk to a big eight year old boy who runs, jumps, plays, dances, sings and so much more. Boy do you love to dance and perform. I really cannot fathom the fact that you are eight years old. You have now been home for longer than you were in an orphanage and that is so amazing. Never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would have the chance to be the big sister to the best and sweetest little noy to ever grace this earth. I thank Jesus everyday for letting me live this life.
Being away from you while I'm at school here in Phoenix is so difficult I look at pictures of you and watch videos form when you were itty bitty and it makes me miss you so much. I didn't realize it would be this hard to be away from you. I was with you everyday for over four years and now all of a sudden I'm not. And its hard, really hard.
Mommy recent;y told me that when Manda came back for the day you grabbed her face and said "I miss Mas-son" bubba this made me tear up. Mommy said you and Mae mae have been saying you miss me alot out of the bliue at random times. I will admit it does make me feel good to know you do miss me because it means you realize I'm gone. You never did this with Manda or Josh, of course when we would ask you if you missed either of them you would say yes but you would never say it out of the blue on your own. It makes me feel special but it also make same feel sad that you have to experience missing me. Even though I would like to be with you everyday I know that being here is where I need to be. But that doesnt make me love or miss you any less.
Youi are in first grade now and you are such a big boy. You have friends that love you. You eat school lunch with the other kids, you participate in what everyone else is doing like PE and recess and other class activities, you do have certain things you have to do yo learn at your pace but that's okay. It doesn't make you any less special or normal.
You mean so much to me. SO much. And I want you to always know that. I don't want you to ever think less of yourself because you have a different number of chromosomes then some other people do. You are perfect, wonderful and so very smart. You smile and giggle are so contagious. The way you love others is inspiring. No matter what I do if I get upset with you or if I'm angry you love me no matter what. You smile laugh and give me a hug and a kiss and all of a sudden I realize how silly it is for me to be upset with you. I realize that I am not perfect and you don't care, you will love me anyways no matter what. It has been such an adventure to love you and be loved by you.
It has been 20 days since I saw you last which was Christmas break and I more than likely wont see you for another 92 days. I cannot wait to hold you again and hear you say my name. I can't wait to kiss your soft little chubby cheeks. I can't wait until I can see you be totally transfixed by a movie, bubby you love movies so much and would watch them all day if you could. I can't wait to just snuggle on the couch or on my bed as you play with your frog and I just watch you and realize how blessed I am to have you in my life, as my brother. I love you more than anything bubba.
Forever and Always
Love sissy Mas-son

Saturday, March 30, 2013

The night my life changed forever.

First picture together March 2011

It has been 2 years since that night and I remember the whole day like it was yesterday, I mean how could I not? It was in fact the best night/day of my entire life! The day started out like a normal day, but we all knew it wasn't going to be like the days that had happened before. We woke up in the morning, got dressed, ate breakfast and did all of our normal day to day things. Well as normal as we could since mommy and daddy were not here. I asked Mae mae if she knew what was going to happen that night and she just kept saying "Mommy, Daddy and Vahnya are comping HOME" it was the cutest thing. Manda and Josh were at school and the rest of us were at home with our cousins waiting to go to the airport, to see you.

I wrote this blog post on March 30th 2011 at 5:28pm
"In 3 hours I will meet you for the first time, I will hug you and kiss you I will look in those amazing brown eyes and tell you I love you!!!!!

I just want to jump up and down and run outside screaming "Vahnya is coming he is coming he is COMING" at the top of my lungs! Buddy we CAN'T WAIT to meet YOU!!!!!

Some people tell me "He is going to be so blessed to be apart of your family" and I think we are going to be the BLESSED ones to have you apart of our family!!!!
I love you buddy and can't wait to see you tonight!!!

Forever and Always 
love sissy"

When I read that I get the chills and my eyes start to tear up. Buddy I was SO excited to meet you and hold you, I could barely contain myself. At about 6pm on March 30th 2011 Manda, Kenzy, Jordan, Mae mae and I walked down to QFC and got you a HUGE snail balloon(you loved it) and cupcakes.  Once we got back from the store it was finally time. We got into the car with Uncle Steve, Aunt Jacky and our cousins and headed for the airport. It took about 15-20minutes to finally get there and the whole entire time I was shaking, and texting Caitlin and Ashley, telling them how excited I was and letting them know how much longer it would be before you got home.

Once we finally got to the airport we went inside and waited, and waited, and waited. It felt like forever. At 8:45pm your plane landed and you were on your way down the "path" with mommy and daddy.  We stood right up by the gate and held up your sign and balloon. We were all looking over everyone else in the airport trying to find you guys and when I spotted you guys I held back my tears. Everyone was shouting "I see them" "There they are"

Daddy was carrying some bags and mommy was pushing you in your stroller. Was this really happening? Was I about to meet you for the very first time after waiting for what seemed like years?  You guys came through the gate and I gave momma a huge hug. Manda bent down and picked you up out of your stroller. When I got to finally hold you, you were so much lighter than I though you would be, you felt like a feather.

After playing on the play structure and with the leggos that they have at the airport we went home. On our way home we stopped at Taco Bell because Mommy and Daddy hadn't eaten in a few hours and we were all hungry. Mommy and Daddy went inside and all of us kids stayed in the car. We were all watching you and saying how cute you were. 

We got home, put you in your warm fuzzy green jammies and played the rest of the night. I can't believe it has been 2 years since that wonderful, beautiful, amazing night. Buddy you mean the world to me. I cannot put in to words how much you bless me, you are the most amazing person I know. I am so very honnored that God would allow ME to be your big sissy. I have no idea what I ever did to deserve you in my life, but I'm glad I did it! 

-Forever and Always
Love sis

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Life goes by so fast. Its been 3 years

Today is a special day, today it marks THREE years since we started your adoption. Wow, how can that even be? Three years baby boy, three years. I can hardly believe its been three years. I remember when mommy first showed me your picture and asked me what I thought about adopting you, I remember asking "What's his name?" and her saying "It doesn't matter we will probably change it anyway" I remember going to Khols with mommy all of the time and looking at the little boy clothes wondering what size you were. I remember finding you a green and grey shirt that said "I was worth the wait" at a resale shop.
First picture I ever saw of you
March 2010

 I remember the day we got more pictures of you like it was yesterday, I was down In the daycare room with momma, she was checking to see if she had an email from the agency on her laptop and I was reading a book to one of the daycare kids, mommy said my name softly through her breaking voice, she was about to cry, she said "They sent them" (meaning the pictures of you, precious boy) I got up off of the floor and went and sat by momma in her rocking chair. What I saw in those pictures was not just a little boy, I saw my baby brother, I saw you. Your fuzzy red hair was shaved and you had a small scratch on one of your chubby little cheeks, but that didn't matter, you were my brother and always would be no matter what. I remember hugging mommy tightly as we both cried. Bubba boy you were the sweetest little boy I had ever laid my eyes on. I remember reading your information over and over again trying to understand it.

I remember making a bet that you had blue eyes, Manda said you had brown. Whoever was right would get to hold you first at the airport. Lets just say I held you second. I remember the first time Bev came to do our homestudy, I was freaked out. I thought I would say something wrong and we wouldn't be able to adopt you. She asked me when I thought you would be home and I answered "Before Thanksgiving" she said it would be more like after Christmas, I didn't want to believe her, so I didn't. But she was right you came home a few months after Christmas. That Christmas was weird, it felt like we weren't complete it felt like we were missing something, and we were, his name was Vahnya. We were missing you bubby.

November 2010, first meeting
I remember the day mommy and daddy got the call for their travel date. I was on the computer and Manda had just gotten home from school. Mommy was in the living room and her phone rang she answered it and said hello excitedly. Manda was fallowing mommy around until she hung up. When she hung up Manda and mom were hugging each other crying. I had my back turned and I was scrolling through my facebook. I got chills cause I knew what happened, without even asking I knew mommy had just talked to the agency about the travel date. I was shaking and about to cry, I couldn't believe it.

February 2011, court trip
March 2011, final trip

In October 2010, right before mommy and daddy went to meet you, we got new pictures of you. Boy you had grown. You were not a baby anymore that's for sure. But you were still the cutest boy I had ever seen.I remember the night before mommy and daddy left. Manda, Daddy and Josh were in Bend for Josh's football game. Mae mae, Jordan, mommy, Kenzy and I were snuggled up on mommy and daddy's bed, under the covers as we waited for daddy, Josh and Manda to get home. I remember the next morning when mommy and daddy left. They woke us up really early to say goodbye and to pray for a safe trip. I remember crying happy and sad tears. Happy tears because they would be able to meet you and it was one step closer to bringing you home but sad because it meant mommy and daddy would be gone for a week.
October 2010, right before mommy and daddy met you

April 2011, one month home
I remember waking up on the day that mommy and daddy met you, all of us kids surrounded the computer and looked at the pictures that momma and daddy sent us. We all said that you were so cute and we couldn't wait to meet you. I remember when mommy and daddy came home from the trip and showed us even MORE pictures and videos of you. I remember when they went back to see you for a second time except this trip was to make you officially my baby brother.  You had grown a lot from November to February, I was even more excited to have you home once court was complete. You became my little brother officially on March 1st 2011.
March 2012, 1 year home

 I remember when mommy went back for the third trip and daddy stayed home with us for the first part of the trip, during that time when mommy was gone she picked you up from your orphanage and you left that building for the last time. A few days after your gotcha day you split your head open in the apartment and Mae mae split her head open back here at home on a rock. You two have matching scars. Daddy went to meet mommy and you in Moscow 1 to 2 weeks after mommy left. You came home about a week after daddy got their but that's for another post.

March 2013, 3 years after starting your adoption, almost 2 years home.

Buddy I cannot believe it has been three years since that day, the day that changed my life forever. I am so very blessed that God chose to give you to us, you have so richly blessed me booga looga. I could never thank Jesus enough for bringing you into my life. Your smile and laugh brighten my day. And if I'm sad or upset I can count on you to make me happy. So many people say that we are so amazing for bringing you home and that we are blessing you so much. But truthfully you are the amazing one, you are the one blessing us so much!

-Forever and Always
Love sis

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Almost 3 years.

Voey boy in 4 days it will be 3 years since the day that we started your adoption. I cant believe it. Has it really been 3 years? You have taught me more in those 3 years than I would have learned in a lifetime without you. You taught me how to love, how to smile every day no matter what, how to be a better person. It's hard for me to believe that there was once a time when I didn't know you. I love you buggy boy and I'm so glad God chose ME to be your sister, cause really I am the blessed one here!

I will love you forever and always
-love sis

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

4th of July

Today is your second fourth of July!!! So far our summer has been lots of fun but the weather hasn't been very nice alot of windy and rainy days this summer, but we have enjoyed it none the less! On Monday we went to Green Apple, a wonderful frozen yogurt place, you LOVED it and so did the rest of us!

I know I haven't posted in like forever but I'm gonna try posting more often again, you have grown so much and you act like such a big boy nowadays. Today you went on a very cool "ride" not really sure what to call it but you got in a harness and then got straped up to the two poles/rods and you bounced bounced bounced, you had so much fun, see?

I helped you bounce cause you little legs couldn't do it by yourslef
You LOVED it

Here are some more cute pictures from our fun 4th of July
Bounce house

Mae mae

Big blow up slide

Jordan went on the fun jumpy thing too
And then at the end of the day we watched the amazing firework show!

-Sissy Madison

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

March 21st

March 21st is such a special day, not only is it "World Down Syndrome Day" but it is YOUR Gotcha day. On March 21st 2011 you left your orphanage and started your new life! We skypped with you for the first ever time, you were such a sweetheart! I just kept smilieing while I looked at the pictures of you and Anya together, you two were the sweetest things and looked so happy to finally be with your mommys (our daddy and Anya's daddy were not there yet) Just 9 days after gotcha day you would be home in my arms.....forever!

Mommy holding you and Heather(Anyas mommy) holding Anya on the train

You and Anya in the apartment on Gotcha day!

Your shirt says "I was worth the wait" and boy were you ever
You were worth all the ups and downs we went through you were worth the
385 days that we waited for you to be home, you were worth all of the fundraising that we did!
You are and were worth everything, you were WORTH THE WAIT!

I love you Vahnya so so so so much!


Saturday, March 10, 2012

2 years

2 years ago today we started the long process to bring YOU home. Has it REALLY been 2 years? Time sure does fly by! This is the day that you became my little brother, it may not be the official day of you becoming my baby brother but it was the day I claimed you as "mine", my baby brother in my heart forever! You were a fuzzy red head baby in blue overalls...that stole mommy and daddy's hearts, with just one glance at you! You had just turned 2 when mommy "found" you! You were the sweetest "baby" I had ever seen.
 March is such a special month for you, the day we started your adoption, the day you officialy became apart of our fmaily, your gotcha day, and the day you came home are all in March! I can't imagine my life without you! Vahnya 2 years ago today you were just a dream, a picture, and a little bit of information. I really knew nothing about you, but I knew God had a plan, and that plan would be for you to be apart of our family!

The first picture we ever saw of you!
I love you Vahny boy <3